I just returned from a trip to Las Vegas. A few weeks before our trip, I saw a t-shirt in a tourist shop in Daytona Beach. The t-shirt was neon pink and depicted a mug shot of Tinker Bell, supposedly taken upon her arrest for drunk and disorderly conduct. The idea was so piquant and so decidedly not me, I couldn’t resist the irony. I bought the shirt with the intent of wearing it in Las Vegas.
I thought that wearing a shirt with picture of a tattooed Tinker Bell arrested for drunk and disorderly conduct would be a hoot and a holler. Just the fact that I would use a phrase like “hoot and a holler” probably explains why me wearing such a shirt was so incongruous. I’m about as edgy as a circle.
In addition to the fact that any “edginess” I have is curved, I have always been the poster child for a “good girl.” I doubt I’ve ever given anyone a single moment of real trouble in my life. I have great respect for the rules. Some of you may remember the tv show “Welcome Back, Kotter.” There was a goody-goody character on that show named Judy. Whenever the rowdy Sweathog kids got one over on her, she would wail, “Mr. Kotter! Mr. Kotter! They aren’t following the ru-wells!” Even as a teenager, I remember feeling uncomfortably aware that I was more like Judy than I wanted to admit. Even now, I tend to sit quietly at my oar, not wanting to rock the boat. I wait for the “walk” sign at intersections even when there are no cars in sight. I don’t cheat on my taxes. I have never smoked or taken drugs, except for those prescribed for me in meticulous compliance with the law. I’d rather eat ice cream than drink alcohol any day of the week. In purchasing the t-shirt, I felt like The Rebel Without A Rebellious Streak.
Then, I went to Las Vegas. I was prepared to release my wild and crazy side. When the day I planned to wear the t-shirt came, I felt oddly embarrassed. Given that women all over the street were wearing clothes much more embarrassing than my tipsy Tinker Bell shirt, it surprises me that I felt any anxiety at all. I’m not sure why I was embarrassed. I think I expected some smirks and sardonic looks. After all, I would think it would disconcert the average random Las Vegas passerby to come across me in that shirt. I was a pudgy, bespectacled, almost-elderly, and obviously unhip tourist wearing sensible shoes… and a t-shirt seemingly designed for a college spring-breaker. I was a walking contradiction.
In reality, I generated almost no reaction. A few salespeople with ulterior financial motives complimented me on it. Other than that, no one appeared to notice it. I figure I’m either edgier than I ever knew or everyone was too hungover to appreciate the irony of the situation.
I wore my shirt, proclaiming Tink’s drunk and disorderly conduct. However, I don’t think I lived up to my shirt. Even though I was in Sin City, the most disorderly thing I did was leave shopping bags strewn around the hotel room. I did have one glass of wine while eating what is touted as “the world’s best meatball” at Martarano’s Restaurant. However, I think the size and density of the meatball prevented any possibility that I would get drunk. I screamed like a rebellious teenager at a Beatles’ tribute show. I lost about $30 a day to penny slot machines. I had a great time in Las Vegas, but I do have to say that, all and all, it was pretty tame.
Clearly, Tinker Bell was framed.
Do you have a wild and crazy side? Tell us about it! Please share your perspective by leaving a comment. In the alternative, you can email me at email@example.com.
Have a rebellious day…. When you aren’t following the ru-wells!