Next To Nieveaux- Part Four

Please enjoy the finale of our Next To Nieveaux adventure!

Back To Nieveaux

Joy, Picclapena, and Chomp started on the path back to Nieveaux. As they walked, Picclapena noticed that the road looked unfamiliar. Nothing at all along the way looked quite the same as it had when she first stepped beyond the Edge of the Curve. Also, it seemed like a very short journey back to Nieveaux. Before Picclapena even had a chance for feel tired, Joy halted in front of her.

“There it is!” Joy cried. “There is the Edge of the Curve right in front of us. We are almost back to Nieveaux!”

Picclapena stopped and stared. She turned to Joy and sputtered, “But, but… that’s a snow globe! A giant snow globe!”

“Of course,” Joy responded calmly. “Didn’t you know that Nieveaux was encased in a giant snow globe?”

“NO! Nieveaux is REAL!”

“Well, in a manner of speaking it is real. It is real in the same way the contents of any snow globe are real. They have substance and bulk. They are made of materials that you can see and feel. But they aren’t real in the same way that life Outside the Curve is. Outside the Curve is bigger and thicker and richer in detail. Everything is made of pretty much the same materials as things in Nieveaux, yet, somehow, everything is more than the combination of its materials. Everything Outside the Curve is just more- more beautiful, more joyful, more painful, more interesting, more dangerous, more explosive in every way. Didn’t you notice that when you stepped Outside the Edge?” Joy asked.

“Well, yes. Now that you mention it, I did notice it. I just didn’t think about it. It didn’t sink in somehow. I think, though, that I always felt it,” answered Picclapena quietly. “I don’t really understand what it all means, though.” Her lips buckled. Her cheeks sagged. Tears filled her eyes. “If Nieveaux is not what I always thought it was, what am I supposed to do now?”

“Let’s take a moment,” suggested Joy gently. “Let’s sit down and wait while you decide what you really want to do next.”

They sat down on the green grass right outside the Edge of the Curve. Picclapena cried for a while and then fell silent. Joy sat next to her and waited. Chomp curled up in her lap. Finally, Joy asked, “Well, what do you think you want to do? Shall we keep going Inside the Curve and take ourselves to Nieveaux or would you rather go back to my village? You are welcome to stay with me as long as you like. You can go to school with the other village children. Someday, maybe you would like to work with me in the flower shop. Or maybe you will go on to have other adventures of your own. You have been very quiet. What have you been thinking?”

Picclapena said nothing for a few seconds. She finally looked at Joy and said, “I don’t know what to do. I can see now that the world Outside the Curve is beautiful and wonderful. It can be scary and dangerous, and I do not know if I am strong enough to live there. The idea of trying sounds exciting, though. Still, I am the royal princess of Nieveaux, and I have a duty to be the next monarch. What would they do if I never came back?”

Suddenly, Picclapena was aware of someone standing behind them. She turned to see that Ezra had caught up with them.

“I don’t know,” he said. “What would they do?”

“I don’t know either,” said Picclapena. “They need a monarch.”

“Oh, do they? Why is that?” asked Ezra. “Joy, do they have a monarch where you live?”

“No,” replied Joy. “Every two years, everyone in the village comes together to select five of the wisest and kindest citizens to be elders in the town. They mediate arguments and organize help when someone needs it. It works pretty well. Sometimes, the people get it wrong, and the elders turn out not to be the wisest and kindest. Usually, though, we live very happily and, if we have made a mistake about an elder, it is pretty easy to fix it during the next selection.”

“Sounds to me like a monarch is not a necessity of life, Picclapena,” Ezra said.

 Picclapena ignored his comment. “I would also like to see my mother and father and Lady Agnes again, too. Choices are so hard. That is one of those things about the world Outside the Curve, isn’t it? Making choices is scary and difficult and uncomfortable but making choices can also lead to great happiness and great beauty.”

“Yes, love… you have said it just exactly. But whether you decide to stay Outside the Curve or decide to go back to Nieveaux, it must be your choice.”

As Picclapena continued to ponder her decision, she noticed something right at the Curve. A faint dark line was getting bigger and darker and deeper. She and Joy ran over to inspect it.

“Oh no, Picclapena! There is a crack in the Edge. This is a terrible situation for Nieveaux. If it cannot be fixed, everything within the globe will dry out and chip and crack. Life will not be possible there. Everyone must evacuate now to survive. Even now, it might be too late. This means there is no real decision for you to make. You cannot go to Nieveaux now!”

“But people I love are in there!” cried Picclapena. “We have to save them! Will your magic work on the globe?”

“What do you mean?” asked Joy.

“You healed the gash on my arm simply by drawing your finger over it. Could you heal the crack in the Edge in the same way?”

“I don’t know. That is a pretty tall order. Your little gash did not require much magic to close it. That crack is much stronger and more vicious. I could try, but I would have to go Inside the Curve to do it.”

“Let’s go!”

Picclapena, Joy, and Chomp ran towards the Edge. Without thinking, Picclapena stepped right into the Edge.

Joy hurried to the crack and drew her finger up as far as she could reach. Picclapena held her breath while she watched fluid continue to seep out of the globe. Joy kept trying. Picclapena cried, “You and Ezra keep working on it. I am going to warn the kingdom of the danger and tell them to evacuate Outside the Curve!”

Picclapena ran off towards the palace, with Chomp racing behind her. When she arrived at the marketplace at the center of the kingdom, she began to tell the people that the Curve was cracked, and they only had a brief time to evacuate to save themselves. The people just laughed at her and told her that the Curve was completely safe.

One citizen demanded how she had re-entered the Curve without bringing anything with her to make Nieveaux better. All she had brought, the citizen pointed out, was some ridiculous story that was causing all kinds of panic. Picclapena tried to explain that she had entered with Joy, who was a magical healer. Again, the crowd rebelled, demanding to see this “magical healer.”

As Picclapena tried fruitlessly to explain, Ezra appeared from nowhere.

“How did you get here?” Picclapena asked. “How did you pay this magical tribute?”

“Oh, I come back and forth from the Edge all the time. And I never said anything about magic. You are the one who keeps bringing up magic. All I said is that you needed to bring back something that would make life better in Nieveaux. I bring back something that makes life better in Nieveaux every time I enter- me.”

“So, I could have just come back on my own any old time?” Picclapena demanded.

“I don’t know. Could you have? Do you believe you make life in Nieveaux better?”

Before Picclapena could reply, she saw Joy running down the path.

“I did what I could. It was too much for me to bind up the whole crack. It is still leaking, and my repair will breech, but I was able to buy us some time to get the people safely out of Nieveaux.”

Picclapena again tried to address the crowd, but they continued to shout her down. Everyone knew that nothing bad could happen in Nieveaux. There was such an uproar, the king and queen heard the noise from their palace and came out to see what was happening.

Queen Theodora ran to fold Picclapena in her arms, crying and laughing all at the same time. “Oh, Picclapena, I have been so worried. I thought I would never see you again.”

King Noble moved towards Picclapena also but stopped when he noticed Joy. His face flushed and turned bright red.

“Mariette!” he cried.

Picclapena looked startled. “Mariette? No, Father, this is my friend Joy. She helped me in the world Outside the Curve. She is magic and she came with me to help Nieveaux. She  has repaired the crack in the Curve to give us time to evacuate the kingdom. But we must hurry, Father. Please proclaim that the people need to abandon Nieveaux and travel Outside the Curve. There is not much time. I do not know who Mariette is, but this lady’s name is Joy.”

Joy stilled. “Mariette Joy. That is my name- Mariette Joy.”

Queen Theodora, King Noble, and Picclapena all looked at Joy incredulously.

“But how? Why are you back? What does this mean?” Queen Theodora’s face was folding in on itself, preparing to cry painful, piteous sobs. King Noble stood stone-faced in despair. Picclapena reached out to Joy.

“What do you mean?” Picclapena begged.

“It is not a simple story. We really don’t have much time, but I need to tell you so that we can concentrate on getting the people to safety.” Joy was impatient but knew that she had to tell the story now that the king and queen had recognized her.

“Once upon a time, I was going to marry a handsome prince and live happily ever after, but I was caught in a storm. The wind threw me through a minor crack in the Curve. My prince could not find me. When I found my way back to him, he was preparing to marry another. I did not want to interfere. Also, I found that there was a different kind of life for me Outside the Curve. I decided it would be better for everyone if I just left well enough alone and went back to my life Outside the Curve. The night of the wedding, though, I left a beautiful flower bouquet of white roses for the royal couple as a gift for them.

My prince knew immediately who must have left the flowers and he came looking for me. That prince was your father, Picclapena. He had not stopped loving me. He loved his wife, too-  Queen Theodora, never doubt that he loved you. In some ways, he loved you more than he did me. You were his partner and his helpmate. I was the fantasy of his youth. I was the promise of something he could never have… and perhaps only thought he wanted. But we were both young and still in love. Prince Noble searched for me beyond the Edge often until he found me. We loved each other and one day, I found myself to be with child. I was poor and alone. I knew that my child would be safe in Nieveaux. There was no risk in Nieveaux. Prince Noble told his princess, breaking her heart. That break never quite repaired but, when Princess Theodora saw the baby girl, all the love she ever had spilled out onto the child. I knew it was the right thing to do.”

Joy pushed up the right sleeve of her dress to reveal a small, lavender-colored, cross-shaped mark just like the one on Picclapena’s arm. “You, Princess Picclapena of Nieveaux, are my ever-beloved, never forgotten Penny.”

Picclapena stared at Joy and glanced at the king and queen in bewilderment. She did not even realize that tears were running down her cheeks. Her sorrow and fear and confusion tightened within her. She could feel it crushing her very essence.

“But how is possible that you are my mother? I have a mother already. A person can’t have more than one mother.”

“Why not?” asked Ezra. “Don’t you have more than enough love to go around? Love should be multiplied, not divided.”

Joy moved towards Picclapena and said gently,  “I know this might be crippling news for you to hear. I never wanted you to find out this way. We can talk about it all you want in the future… after we get everyone safe. I know you want to save the people of Nieveaux, and I will do whatever I can to help.”

Picclapena gulped down a sob. She squared her shoulders and, with a curt nod of her head marshalled all her determination. She turned to her father.

“Papa, please listen to me. I have seen the crack. I have seen the fluid beginning to flood Nieveaux. The fluid is already beginning to pool. Soon the globe will be so off balance, it will topple over. Anyone who survives the fall will soon drowned. You must issue a royal proclamation requiring everyone to go beyond the Edge of the Curve!”

The red-purple shade of King Noble’s face had faded to a dull, flat grey. He looked hopelessly from Mariette to Theodora, who were both quietly weeping for something they both realized they never had. He stared at his daughter.

“Picclapena!” cried King Noble. “I can’t order people to leave Nieveaux and go outside the Edge of the Curve. It is dangerous out there. It is dark out there. Scary beasts dwell in the shadows. People get hurt. People do bad things. Sometimes, there is not enough to eat. Sometimes, there is no shelter from the cold and the wind. Sometimes, hearts are broken.”

“Yes, Papa…. All that it true. But that is not all of the truth. The world out there can be scary and dangerous. But it can also be so strangely beautiful and joyful. Hearts do get broken, but hearts also get healed. Since I have been away, I have been scared and hurt and hungry and cold. Vicious beasts have chased me. I am sure some people do bad things, but I only saw the kindness. The kindness was always there when I needed it. And, frankly, Father, I do not think you can say people never do bad things in Nieveaux.”

Picclapena paused and looked at her father intently and deeply. He realized that he had done bad things right in the very center of Nieveaux. He had been selfish and thoughtless…and he had broken two hearts in the process. He looked away in shame.

“Anyway, it might be dangerous Outside the Edge, but it is definitely dangerous here!” Picclapena spoke with more confidence and authority. “Papa, you must issue the proclamation! Please, please save your people!”

King Noble looked up at the crowd. In a flat, defeated voice, he said, “No, Picclapena. I have no business issuing any proclamations. I have no right to tell anyone to do anything. I have proven myself to be an unworthy monarch.”

Then, as his voice regained strength and surety, King Noble looked out across the crowd of people and said, “People of Nieveaux! I have wronged my child, her mother, and my queen through my selfishness and foolishness. I am no longer fit to be called your king. But, please, listen to my beloved daughter Picclapena and do as she says.”

The crowd turned to Picclapena. She began organizing evacuation efforts and assigning tasks. She helped pack the wagons with provisions. She calmed children. She helped the elderly and disabled walk to the Edge of the Curve. She ran to the palace herself and loaded a cart with the most important cultural icons of Nieveaux. Everywhere anyone looked, they saw Picclapena taking measures for a safe evacuation of all the citizens. Queen Theodora and King Noble went through the palace and gathered all the valuable treasures so that there would be money to start again in the world Outside the Edge.

In the midst of the carefully controlled chaos, Picclapena looked at the people around her. Nearly all of them were terrified of leaving the comfort of Nieveaux to plunge into a new life full of danger and pain. She wished she could tell them what it was really going to be like, but she could not. For one thing, she didn’t really know herself. For another thing, she realized that her people would never understand the world Outside the Curve until they experienced it for themselves. All she could do was urge them forward to the Edge.

After several hours of hurried preparation, Picclapena led the people of Nieveaux to the Edge. When they reached the Edge, she asked Joy to go through the Curve first so that the people could see how it was done. Picclapena would stay Inside the Curve to soothe the people’s fears and help them through the Curve. Joy agreed and easily passed through the Curve while the people watched.

“Ezra, will you go next?” asked Picclapena.

“No. You can do this yourself. I’m going to go do a few things. You know I’ll catch up with you if you need me.” Ezra walked away, towards King Noble. Picclapena began shuffling people through the Curve. When all the citizens were through, Picclapena reached to help Queen Theodora. She shrunk back a little and asked, “Do you really think I should go? Is there a place for me?”

“Of course, you will always be my mother. I want you with me. Joy is wonderful and I love her already. She fills a place in my soul that I did not even know was empty. You, though, are the mother of my heart and I never want to be away from you again. Please go through the Curve and I will meet you there in just a moment.”

Queen Theodora went through the Curve. Picclapena could see her smiling with a brightness she had never before noticed on her mother’s face. Picclapena looked and saw that King Noble was the only person left. Ezra had disappeared. King Noble backed away as Picclapena moved towards him.

“No, Picclapena. I am not going. I was born to be the monarch of Nieveaux. I let down my whole kingdom and now I am going to stay within the globe and try to find a solution to the problem. I know I can find a way to fix the crack in the Curve. I appreciate you bringing all our people to safety, but it must be my job to find a way to be able to bring them home safely.”

“Father! There is no way. If you stay here, you will die. Joy has a magic healing power and even she could not fix the globe completely. All she could do was buy us enough time to save the people. Papa, you are one of the people, too. We want to save you. It doesn’t matter now what you did years ago! You made a foolish, selfish mistake. It is over now!”

“It can’t really have been a mistake, Picclapena. It brought us you. No, I must stay here and at least try to fix the globe. Let’s go take a closer look at the crack.”

King Noble walked over to the crack. When they got close to the crack, it was clear that the patchwork Joy did was disintegrating. The crack was jagged and angry. Several feet of water pooled over the snow on the ground. The globe had a distinct list. Picclapena could hear the rumbling and creaking of the globe as it struggled to remain upright.

King Noble got as close as he could to Edge of the Curve and called Picclapena to join him. “Look, Picclapena. I see something.”

Picclapena stood right next to her father and peered over his shoulder to see what he meant. As she did, he grabbed her and pushed her through the Edge of the Curve. Just at that moment, the globe broke open and capsized. Picclapena watched in horror as King Noble disappeared into the suction of the dying globe.

Picclapena screamed a mighty cry- a cry that emanated from the deepest part of her soul. She turned away to stop from seeing her father’s head go completely under the liquid. She went to break the sad news to her mother, Joy, and the people of Nieveaux. A sad crew camped for the evening by the outside Edge of the Curve. Picclapena stayed her grief and confusion as she labored to set up the camp. As she cooked food and distributed blankets and dried tears, she happened to look up and saw Ezra helping to pitch tents. She was glad he was back.

The next day, Picclapena led the people of Nieveaux to the little village where Joy lived. As time passed, she and Joy and Queen Theodora helped the Nieveaux citizens find a place in this new world. Picclapena went to school, helped in Joy’s flower shop, and taught all the children- the children from Nieveaux and the children of the outside village- all about the beauty in both Nieveaux and in the world Outside the Curve. When Picclapena grew up, she was a wise and kind person. She was so wise and kind that the town selected her as an elder every two years through her whole life.

The week after the crack, when the shambles should have settled, Picclapena brought a group of volunteers back to the place where the crack had been. There was no remnant of Nieveaux left to be found. The shards of glass and pools of fluid had disappeared. They searched with all their might and found no trace of King Noble.

All they found was a small bouquet of white roses and sparkly icicles.

THE END

Home For The Holidays

This year, Christmas has not seemed quite so much like Christmas, for some reason. I am not sure what the difference is. I went back to my post Gentle Christmas ( A Gentle Christmas – Terri LaBonte- Reinventing Myself in Retirement  ) from last year because the feeling seems a little familiar. I did have a sense that I might have felt the same last year. In re-reading last year’s Christmas edition, I learned that I did turn a very merry corner in 2023. However, last year I felt hopeful and happy about that change. This year, those attitude adjustments I made last year feel a little hollow.

When I thought about what made Christmas not feel like Christmas, it struck me that the statement was a bit of a mystery. It is like when someone says, “I don’t feel like myself.” If YOU are the one feeling a certain kind of way, surely feeling that “certain kind of way” must be feeling like YOURSELF. If it IS Christmas, then the way I feel must be the way Christmas feels.

In truth, Christmas is not just one thing, and it does not feel just one way. It is not as permanent and unchanging as we would sometimes like to believe.

Some events or traditions that do stay similar from year to year may not continue to serve the happiness of those who partake. For instance, I gave up on Christmas cards this year. It was a hard decision because I care so much about the connection that I have with the people to whom I send cards. However, last year my energy lagged as I plowed my way through the list. It became a chore, and I am afraid that the people whose names started later in the alphabet did not get the attention and thought that I would have liked to give them. I decided on a different way forward.

Some events or traditions that change dramatically may not feel good but that does not mean that they are necessarily worse in the grand scheme of things. For instance, I always miss my mother, but Christmas shines a harsh spotlight on her empty chair. My mother, like her daughter, was a Crazy Christmas Lady. Christmas will never be the same without her. However, when I feel that sudden stab of loss, as I do regularly during the holiday season, I tend to lean into it and live in the memory of her wild and uncontrolled festive reflex. That memory wraps around me and fuels me in a different way than while she was alive. Neither way is better. They are just different. I know my mother has gone home for the holidays forever, but she also left love here for me to celebrate.

I have been thinking about my expectations and paradigms around Christmas. Since I understand, at least in my heart, that Christmas does not have to feel just one way, I wanted to figure out what about this Christmas felt not just different but lacking.

Many people who are going through tough times find Christmas particularly difficult. I, on the other hand, have always looked at Christmas as an escape from the reality of troubled times. All my life, no matter what problems I faced or what hurt I was experiencing, I was able to put it aside and immerse myself in magic at Christmastime. And there was almost always much from which I needed to escape. I was able to release the burden of managing pain and fear for those few weeks each year. Instead, through sheer force of will, I could pretend they did not exist at all. Most people feel some post-holiday letdown, but that letdown could be crippling to me as the real world burst from its fetters and came back to haunt me on December 26th.

I realized that is the feeling that these past two Christmases have been lacking- escape. Here’s the good news- and this realization rocked my whole understanding of myself. I no longer need the escape. I have healed so much from the ugliness that attacked and eroded my soul most of my life, I no longer need to cling desperately to the life preserver a few weeks of delusion in December provided.

Now that I have reached this startling revelation, I am finding it much more comfortable to live with a more diverse paradigm of what Christmas feels like. So, this Christmas, what feels like Christmas for me?

As a Christian, I cannot ignore the fundamental importance of the Incarnation of Jesus. These are indeed tidings of extraordinary joy and, no matter how I feel in a particular moment, it will always be tidings of great joy. In my soul, I rejoice with exceeding great joy.

Additionally, God has made Himself incarnate in a very special way for me over the past week. This incarnation mimics and reminds me of that Great Incarnation of the Nativity in a humble way. The honest truth is that so many people heap God’s love over me. They are God’s love incarnate. I am so, so grateful and joyful for the people God puts around me and the love He gives me in my life   I’ve seen it so generously in the past few days especially. There is no greater “feels like Christmas” than this.

I know that one day I will go home for the holidays forever and it will be a joyful day. Until then, I will continue to rejoice with exceeding great joy that home is where the heart is and my heart lives in the love of my family- both the family by biology and the family by selection!

Merry, merry Christmas! Thank you all for your incarnation! May God bless you all in the coming year.

Terri/Dorry 😊

Does Christmas feel like Christmas to you this year? What makes Christmas feel like Christmas? Please share your perspective by leaving a comment. In the alternative, you can email me at terriretirement@gmail.com.