Tag: new activities

The Sky Is Falling

Well, it finally happened. After almost six years of writing the blog, I woke up one Wednesday with nothing ready to post. Oh, I have had Wednesdays before when I did not post. The difference was that I planned to not post on those prior blogless Wednesdays. I had deliberately decided to take a break here or there. I COULD have posted on those other Wednesdays, but I intentionally chose not to do so. This past Wednesday, I intended to post new content, but did not have anything written. I had a few bits and pieces of posts that I thought I would have perfected by Terri Time, but I failed.

Upon waking last Wednesday, I immediately checked my pulse and I still had one. Outside my door, there was every indication that the earth was still turning on its axis and revolving around the sun. No one contacted me to let me know they were missing any body parts or vital portions of their psyches because there was no Terri LaBonte post. There was absolutely no blood on the floor. In other words, nothing happened because I failed to complete a new blog post.

At first, I felt anxious about not having a new post. It was the problem that I had been trying to avoid for the last six years. It was the reason I did not even launch the blog until I had twenty posts already written in reserve. Last year at this time, I even broached the subject that I might not post every week to give myself time to work on my next book, ­Puppies, Guppies, and Letting Go. Even though you all supported my decision, I have still been faithful with new content. I published forty-eight new posts in 2021. I never went more than a week in a row without posting. I did not really cut myself much slack. Last Wednesday, though, I felt very unsettled and ungrounded because not only DIDN’T I post new content, I had no new content to post. I have a renewal date coming up in a couple of weeks, so I began to question if I should continue to pay the fees to maintain the blog. After all, if I am out of ideas and am stunted of new content, would it not make sense to just stop? On the other hand, if I am just a bit scattered just now, do I genuinely want to give up the blog, which I love?

This musing led to me to ask myself why I did not have anything new written for the blog last week.

I discovered the answer quickly. I have been on a quest to try new things and challenge myself with new ways of being in the world. As a result, I have been adding numerous activities to my repertoire. I have engaged with people more often. I pulled myself out of first gear on the book. I began meditating. I allowed myself to act spontaneously- going on a solo trip to Disney World, going to the gingerbread jamboree, trying a Bible study class at church one evening a week, entertaining friends- instead of “keeping to my schedule.” All these experiences have been good for me, and I enjoyed them. The problem is that time is a finite commodity and there are other things that are good for me that are falling by the wayside.

Working on new blog posts is one of those activities. My “normal” routine also involves walking 6-7 miles a day. That takes a lot of time. I also prioritize spending time with Max. I keep up with several friends in California and Hawaii. All these activities are critical to my well-being. As a result, I am adding more healthy dimensions to my life, but I am not dispensing with any activities. I am excited to see how these changes will enrich my life, but I must admit to a certain sense of hysteria as time flies by without me accomplishing everything I want to do on a daily basis.

This may be what retired people mean when they say they do not know how they ever had the time to work for a living. Retirement is one of the biggest transitions most of us will ever experience. Any kind of transition, whether it be retiring or simply trying to improve one’s emotional and physical health, requires adjustments. Learning the right balance in implementing those adjustments takes a little finagling!

What adjustments have you had to make to craft the life you want in retirement?  Please share your perspective by leaving a comment. In the alternative, you can email me at terriretirement@gmail.com.

Have an adjustable day!

Terri/Dorry 😊

She Who Sings Prays Twice

Music and I have always been trapped in an abusive relationship. The thing is, I never know which of us is the abuser and which is the victim.

I used to say my singing prowess, or lack thereof, was God’s joke. I love to sing, but am not very good at it. In fact, it is fair to say that I am bad at it. The last time I can remember singing in public (before going Christmas caroling in the community last year) was when I was about seven. The choir director at church was putting together a children’s choir to entertain at the annual St. Joseph’s Day Table festivities. The presentation included making hand motions to accompany our rousing rendition of “Do, Re, Mi.” I wasn’t particularly good at the actual singing part, but I could wiggle my fingers on the sides of my head to make “doe, a deer” ears with great gusto.

A few years later, upon entering the fourth grade, I wanted to join the elementary school glee club. They wouldn’t take me. Let that sink in for a moment. I failed the audition for the public elementary school glee club. I mean, it wasn’t like I was trying out for American Idol or anything. All I wanted was to sing with the other, adequately voiced, 9-11-olds in the Jonas E. Salk Elementary School choir. How bad must I have been? And don’t you think that it was kind of cruel to reject such an enthusiastic child? The experience scarred me for life. I am always secretly wanting to sing, but I’m fearful that the sound of my voice will cause permanent trauma, or at least permanent hearing damage, to anyone who can hear me.

I’ve been tempted to join church choirs a few times in the past. St. Augustine is attributed with saying that “he who sings prays twice” and I think that is true. Singing adds another dimension to prayer for me. I don’t know whether it is because more of my body is engaged when I am singing rather than when I am simply speaking. I do know that my mind and heart and soul are usually more engaged. I seem to focus more on the experience of praying when I sing.

I enjoy singing at church. After years of repetition, I was familiar enough with most of the regular hymns I heard in the Catholic church to follow the melody without drawing pained looks from my neighbors. Sometimes, I’ll visit my current church on a weekday. There is a sign on the door that says, “Come in, rest, and pray.” That’s exactly what I do. I pray and, alone where I cannot endanger anyone’s ears, I sing. God never seems to mind.

In keeping with my resolve to try things I always wanted to do, I finally decided to try singing with the choir at my new church. During the choir’s “off season” in the summer, an informal group of folks would meet with the choir director right before the service to learn a song to sing during the liturgy. I enjoyed that. The problem, if there was one, was that everyone was too nice. I may not be able to sing very well, but I can hear and I know I was bad. I was fine as long as the melody was familiar and I could follow along with the tune. When it came to harmonizing, I reverted to that fourth grader who couldn’t make the glee club. I could not follow either the soprano or alto part consistently. I tended to wander all over the staff, hitting whichever notes my voice tripped over. I didn’t sing melody. I didn’t sing harmony. I sung cacophony. Still, the choir members were all way too nice to allow my lack of singing talent get in the way of my joining the choir. They were so warm and welcoming and encouraging, I decided to give it a try.

I loved the people in the choir and I loved the culture of the choir. It did feel very prayerful. I am sure we were “praying twice.” On the other hand, I was still not good. After a few practices, I was slightly better, but still bad. Basically, I advanced from very bad to just bad. Every time I mentioned it, the choir director and other members told me I was getting better and I was doing fine and I was loved and wanted. It made it kind of hard to disentangle myself from the choir. There is a lot of incentive in acceptance.

On the other hand, I realized that I would not be able to attend Sunday school if I continued with the choir. Our rector leads a Sunday school session between the two services every week and I’ve been attending fairly regularly. I get a lot out of that class and I think I contribute something to it, as well. I feel like God is calling me more to participate in the Sunday school class rather than the choir, so I am going to part ways with the choir for now.

In reality, the gifts God gave me are truly more suited to participating in Sunday school discussions. I’ve always loved discussing spiritual ideas. I think I can use the perspectives we explore in the class to help me with my blog posts and with church programs I might present. I read once that the best ministry is that activity where the thing that brings a person joy intersects with the needs of the people of God. I enjoy the singing, but I don’t think it brings me the kind of joy that drives the passion of ministry. As for intersecting with the needs of the people of God…. well, nobody needs to hear me sing!

One of the roles of a church choir is to lead the musical worship of the congregation. Leaders need followers. I can be a follower. Followers also pray twice!

One of the best things about retirement is having the time and energy to explore new activities.  What new pursuits did you embrace (or want to embrace) in retirement?  Please share your perspective by leaving a comment.  In the alternative, you can email me at terriretirement@gmail.com.

Have a pleasantly busy day!

Terri/Dorry 🙂

REMEMBER: You can order your copy of Changing My Mind: Reinventing Myself In Retirement by visiting: https://secure.mybookorders.com/orderpage/2076