Tag: Christianity

Yellow Light

Emotional energy is a finite commodity. Lately, there has been a lot going on in my life and I am feeling pretty drained.

It has not all been bad stuff. I spent a wonderful weekend participating in an Invite, Welcome, Connect workshop at my church presented by Mary Foster Parmer. Her workshop was a very welcome follow up to an initiative in which I was a key player last year. You can see information about Mary and her ministry at her website (Invite Welcome Connect), so I will not try to describe the entire concept and process here. Basically, the whole point of this ministry is to light a controlled burn fire under congregations that want to grow in size and vibrancy. It was joyful to see my parish family engage enthusiastically and commit to growth. I would say it was magical, but I know it was more miraculous than magical. The Holy Spirit certainly sparked that fire-lighting process!

The event excited and uplifted me, but the weekend was very, very people-y. My sweet little introverted self could barely keep her head above the surf. I ingested a certain amount of emotional saltwater from the effort. I love the people of my parish and I loved the event. It was just that the level of continual engagement took about all the fuel I had in my tank. I am pleased to report that I did not spend any more time than biologically necessary hiding in the bathroom. Yay, me! Let’s celebrate my successes. All in all, I am very proud of how I handled myself. I have hope for the church and I have hope for myself. At least, that is how I feel now after three days of rejuvenating solitude.

The thing is, I have also been dealing with some personal emotional issues that are older than dirt. For whatever reason, they have decided to crop up now. “Crop up” is not the right phrase. That sounds like growth and rejuvenation. In reality, these problems and pains are entrenched in the soil of my soul and it has taken some considerable fracking to break them loose. One might ask why I poked at them in the first place, especially since poking at them has not done me any good in the past. As I said, they are very old issues and I have had most of my life to poke at them. Somehow, now, though, I feel some compulsion to try to resolve them. Don’t ask me about them because I do not feel like sharing, but please do pray for me and send me good wishes.

The other thing I want to ask you for is your patience. My emotional yellow light is blinking. I’m not stopped in my tracks, but I am proceeding with intentional caution. It may be a few weeks before you hear from me again. In the meantime, I am sure I will be hurting, healing, and growing. This will ultimately be a very joyful thing, but it is likely going to take me some time to get there.

In the meantime, I will still be functional in real life because that is who I am. I will be embracing the resources that I know will accept, love, and nurture me even when they do not know or understand my issues.. my coach, my family of friends, my church, and my God. I think I have an excellent treatment plan!

Do you ever have a time when you wish you could find a way to be happier and healthier in body, mind, soul, and spirit? How have you managed those times? Please share your perspective by leaving a comment. In the alternative, you can email me at terriretirement@gmail.com.  I’d also like to invite any of you who have ever been curious about Christianity or the church to reach out to me on email about the opportunities for you to explore without pressure. I’d be happy to talk with you. Even if you do not live close to us, we have online services and other events that might help you get started on your journey.

St. James Episcopal Church

204 N. Lee Street

Leesburg, FL 34748

352-787-1981

www.stjames-leesburg.org

Have a blessed day!

Terri/Dorry 😊

Al-phantastic

Some of you may remember reading some of my blog pieces about the Alpha program I’ve helped run at my church. Alpha is a program designed to give people a place to explore the big questions of life- meaning, purpose, God, religion, relationships, etc.- without judgment or pressure.  The program originated in the Anglican Church and is now used by churches of all Christian denominations all over the world. I mention that to demonstrate that Alpha is not “way out there” or cultish in any way. 

This 12-week program offers weekly sessions consisting of friendship, a video about some basic principle of Christianity, and a small group discussion to unpack the content of the video and to wrestle with any questions that our Alpha guests have.  The conversation is relaxed, candid, open, and uncharged with expectations.  One attendee, an atheist, specifically mentioned how it was clearly a “non-coercive, relaxed environment filled with caring people.”

Alpha is for everybody.  Some Alpha guests are unchurched. Some would not even identify themselves as Christian. Some have been sturdy lifelong believers.  Many are somewhere in between.  The intended audience is anyone who is questioning their spiritual journey in life or who is not as close to God as they wish they were. 

I always think of Alpha as a “search party.”  It is a “party” because one of its main foundations is friendship- having fun and good conversation together.  It is a “search” because we are all searching for something. 

In the past, running an Alpha program meant, among other things, providing dinner for our guests every week.  The principle was that the catalyst for the evening is relational.  The basis of the program is the sincere, genuine friendships that develop. It is frequently those relationships that spark the power of God into each evening’s proceedings.  Sharing a meal together is one of the best ways to foster those relationships.  If anyone questions whether the Holy Spirit actually works through the Alpha program, all they need do is consider that I pulled off multiple dinners for 50 without poisoning anyone. To put that factoid in perspective, you have to know that my first Alpha evening was the first time in my life I had ever hosted a party.  I don’t even really cook.  I eat a lot of peanut butter and pre-made food at home.  I still look at pictures of the foil pans of food I prepared for Alpha dinners in absolute amazement.  I’m sorry, but I have to take those pans of food as evidence that there is indeed a God.

Now that we are living in world where people must stay physically distant and sharing food in public is suspect at best, meeting in person and sharing a communal meal is not a good option.  We want to spread the love of God, but not the coronavirus.  Still, in a time when people are more isolated and lonelier, Alpha may be even more necessary than before the pandemic. 

As Alpha pivots into a coronaviral world, we are finding that we can recreate the Alpha experience virtually.  There are even some additional benefits from running Alpha online.  There are no geographical limits.  There is no necessity for anyone to walk into an unfamiliar location.  Parents who have small children can participate even if they have no one to babysit their kids.  If guests have to travel for work, they can still jump on Zoom for the discussion.  When we “meet” people in their own environments, we get to know each other quicker than in even the most relaxed “classroom” type setting. 

We can even adapt the elements of Alpha that seem particularly rooted in the face-to-face experience.  We may not be able to serve dinner every week, but that does not mean we cannot find creative ways to share snacks.  We may not be able to have light conversation around a dinner table, but that does not mean we cannot dedicate part of our virtual session to just being friends hanging out together.  We may not be able to share physical hugs, but that does not mean we cannot encourage, comfort, and love.

So, it turns out that the Holy Spirit is perfectly okay using Zoom.

My church is going to start a new season of Alpha on Wednesday March 10,2021. We will be meeting on Zoom from 6:30-7:45 pm Eastern USA time.  I thought I would take advantage of the “no geographical limits” benefit of online Alpha to invite you to participate with me.  I would really love it if some of you would join us.  If you do not want to commit to the whole program but would just like to “come and see” for a session or two, you would be very welcome. 

In our crazy, coronaviral world, many folks are already using Zoom.  For those of you who have not yet gone Zooming, it is really easy.  It is free.  All you need is a computer or tablet that has a camera, microphone, and speakers.  Some desktops have all these things.  Just about any laptop or tablet will.  You can even use a smart phone, but it is a little less comfortable.  If you wish to join us, I’ll be sending you a link by email.  All you will need to do is click on it.  The first time, the process will lead you through installing the Zoom app on whatever device you are using. 

If you would like to hang out with me in an Alpha session, please email me at terriretirement@gmail.com.  Please provide your name, phone number and whether or not you can/wish to accept texts at that number, email address, and mailing address (you never know what delightful surprises you might find in your mailbox!)  I will keep your information private.  There is absolutely no commitment and NO PRESSURE. 

Please consider joining us for our next search party!

Have you ever heard of Alpha?  What questions do you have?  Does it sound like something you might find interesting?  Please share your perspective by leaving a comment.  In the alternative, you can email me at terriretirement@gmail.com.  

Let’s party!

Terri/Dorry 😊

Of Course

Of course, I see…

That your skin color is different from mine

That you are of a different ethnicity than I am

That your hair is a different texture from mine

That your facial features are not the same as mine.

Of course, I hear….

That your speech patterns and inflections and tones are different from mine

That you express yourself differently than I do

That you pray differently than I do

That the story you tell of your life is not the story that I have lived.

Of course, I feel…

That some of your culture and traditions are different from mine

That the broken places in your heart are different from the broken places in mine

That there is segregation between our lives, be it intentional or not

That it is painful to find sturdy common ground on which to live in justice and peace together.

Of course, I know…

That we are both hurt

That we are both angry

That we are both scared

That we are both much-loved children of our mighty God.

Of course, I love you. 

I have been dwelling in sadness, anger, and fear over the past few weeks since the killing of George Floyd and the aftermath of that event.  It is not this one event that has brought me to this place of contemplation.  It is more that this one event is a microcosm of race relations in our country. That is the concept that provokes sadness, anger, and fear in me.  The atmosphere in so many aspects of our lives is so “us or them” that I do not know if it can be overcome.  We are seeing the “us or them” attitude concerning race relations unfold in such an ugly way during this time.

It makes me feel good to see so many protests that have stayed peaceful and productive.  People can be righteously angry and peaceful at the same time. These peaceful protestors have something vital to say and people ARE listening.  It is especially heartening to see protests in which people from all races, ethnic backgrounds, and professions (including police and government leaders) participate.  On the other hand, the fact that there is such evil in our society that caused Mr. Floyd’s killing to begin with generates a certain amount of despair.  That same evil also spurs additional darkness when angry and opportunistic people commit violence in the aftermath of the murder. 

Today, I listened to a discussion between my pastor, Fr. Tom Trees, and a young African American pastor from another local church, Reverend Ryan Armstrong. Reverend Armstrong shared an idea that I believe and pray is the best way forward.  He said that distance breeds suspicion, but proximity breeds empathy.

I think the best thing to do is to pray that God will grant us courage and grace. I pray that He helps us to find the proximity we need to create enough empathy so that the “of course” in “of course, I love you” rings true for everyone. 

What are your thoughts on this delicate issue?  Please share your perspective by leaving a comment.  In the alternative, you can email me at terriretirement@gmail.com.