Fasting And Feasting
Lent is the forty-day period before Easter during which most Christian denominations observe a season of penitence, preparation, and spiritual renewal. The forty days commemorates the time that Jesus spent in the desert being tempted by the devil before He started His public ministry. Lent has always been a momentous time of the year for me. Today is Ash Wednesday and Lent begins.
As a child, I “gave up” something for Lent. The idea was to sacrifice some pleasure to show devotion to God, as opposed to devotion to worldly desires. In the Roman Catholic faith, in which I was raised, there were institutional days of fasting (Ash Wednesday and Good Friday) and days of abstinence from meat (the Fridays during Lent.) Again, the idea was to embrace some outward sign to demonstrate sacrifice and devotion to God.
As I matured, I began to question whether what I did in Lent truly resulted in the desired outcome- spiritual renewal and growth. Giving up chocolate did not make me feel closer to God. It just made me feel cranky. And it made me feel an insatiable craving for vanilla ice cream. Abstaining from meat on Fridays did not seem to be too much of a sacrifice. I could eat shrimp, lobster, peanut butter, cheese pizza, and any number of delectable non-meat alternatives. I tried to frame these observances as “intentionalities” instead of sacrifices. I told myself the fact that I was doing something different, whatever it was, would bring me closer to God if my intention in doing it was to focus my attention on spiritual matters. That philosophy helped me embrace Lenten observance for many years. It still felt a little like pounding a square peg into a round hole, however.
I finally decided to forget about “giving up” something for Lent and, instead, actively embrace some positive action. A couple of years, I wrote a letter each day to someone who had contributed positively to my spiritual journey to thank that person. One year, I began going to the weekly anointing service at my church. Another year, I began reading through a “Bible in One Year” process, recording verses of Scripture that particularly spoke to me. All of these endeavors have been fruitful and fortifying… certainly more helpful to my spiritual development than giving up chocolate. When I converted to the Episcopal faith, the whole “no meat on Fridays in Lent” thing was no longer a requirement. It was easy for me to let that tradition go by the wayside of my new spiritual path.
The last several years, I have not had to look for my Lenten desert experience. God brought the desert to me. The work of Lent in those years was for me to bear the difficulties, challenges, and pain that those swaths of desert presented. I did embrace some special Lenten observances, but the bulk of my growth came simply from allowing God to lead me into some dark, difficult places in my soul. I leaned into Him and into the experiences He brought me. I relied on Him and kept my spirit open to what He had to show me and what He needed me to do. These past few Lents have been my own personal miracles. This Lent- and I say this with a certain amount of caution and trepidation- God does not yet seem to be throwing any particular desert in my way.
The past year or so, I have been attending a discussion group in which we are exploring the book Celebration of Disciplines: The Path to Spiritual Growth by Richard J Foster. The book discusses how we can use intentional spiritual disciplines, such as prayer, meditation, service, fasting, and others, to strengthen and deepen our connection with God. Since I have often heard Lent described as an observance of spiritual discipline, I thought it might be a promising idea to intentionally tune in to how this book could help frame my Lent this year.
One of the ladies in the group identified the idea of “fasting to feast” as a key component in her current journey. Her comment helped me better understand the value of fasting. I had always thought that the best kind of fast is a fast that creates opportunity. For instance, if I give up eating sweets, then it is more meaningful if I donate the money I would have spent on sweets to a local food bank so that people living with food insecurity might have nutritious meals. I don’t think I’ve put that philosophy together with this pithy “fasting to feast” mentality.
After some musing, pondering, and doing warfare against my own resistance (probably a clear sign that I need to make a change, by the way,) yesterday I decided to fast from Facebook for the next forty days. I was very late to the Facebook party- my brother and several friends nagged me for years to enter the social media world. I resisted until 2018, when I published my first book. As the years have gone on, I find Facebook creeping up on my time, energy, and mental health. I notice a much more prominent level of ugliness on Facebook than in real life. I have been able to ignore the vitriol and the pettiness for the most part, but things have become so much more heated and toxic in the wake of the 2024 presidential election season. I am losing sleep, peace of mind, and joy.
Scripture tells us that, as Christians, we are not “of this world” any more than Jesus was of this world. However, we live in this world. Lately, exposure to the world as reflected on Facebook has begun to infiltrate my ability to not be of that world, if that makes any sense. The internal world God wants for me is not a world infected with the anger, hate, anxiety, and sleep deprivation that Facebook presents. It is time I fasted from Facebook, so to better steward the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health God gave me.
If you are a person who follows me on Facebook or uses my posts announcing new content on this blog as your trigger to visit this website, please do not fear for my safety or think I’ve been abducted by aliens. Please let me know if you’d like me to notify you of new content by email. You can contact me a terriretirement@gmail.com. I may or may not be back on Facebook at the end of Lent. We will see where God leads me.
So that takes care of the fasting. What about the feasting? With what will I fill myself when I am not scrolling happily or not-so-happily through Facebook? I have been working on a new project. I have created a new spiritual formation course that I will be facilitating at my church during the Lenten season. The course will cover the following topics: Knowing God, Communicating With God, Recording Faith, Following God Together, Collaborating With God, and Sharing Faith. This is a project that will take all my focus, strength, patience, faith, and prayer. I think God wants me to be at my best- at peace, well-rested, open to His leadership- as I travel this path. It is a huge emotional and mental commitment, especially for a girl who is about as far on the introvert end of the scale as one can get.
Creating curriculum and teaching are passions of mine. This is certainly not the first time I have done something like this- and I have faith that, powered by the Holy Spirit, the course will be nurturing, fulfilling, and fun. However, this is definitely the birth of a new creation and there will be labor pains. Given my desert experiences and Easter miracles of the past few years, my intention is to embrace the process and rely on God to take the reins. He will teach me what I need to know and will shape me into who He needs me to be.
If any of you are local and would like to join me on this adventure, I hope you will reach out for more information or… just show up. There are five regular sessions, which I will be teaching twice each week to accommodate people who prefer daytime classes and people who prefer evening events. There will be a Tuesday evening class, from 6:15-8:15pm starting on 3/11. We will have a simple soup and sandwich supper beforehand at 5:45pm. The other option would be to come to a Thursday midday class from 11:15am to 1:15pm, starting on 3/13. There will also be a Saturday mini-workshop day on 3/29. The course will be in the parish hall at St. James Episcopal Church at 204 N. Lee Street in Leesburg, FL 34748. Please consider joining my “feasting!”
Have a blessed day!
Terri/Dorry 😊
Are you interested in having a desert experience this Lent? Please share your perspective by leaving a comment. In the alternative, you can email me at terriretirement@gmail.com.